YOu know I was reading my friend Nina's blog and I realized I wanted to talk on that subject as it sets me off to no end when I hear, "Its not good to use pain medicines during labor" or "I'm better than you because I went through the pain of child birth that you didn't!"

Excuse me!

There are two catagories of people who looks down upon us who are sane enough to realize we need drugs during labor...

1) Those who haven't even had the experience of having a child..Sorry but until you go through some of the pain of childbirth..you have no right to judge others.its a pain you know NOTHING about.

and
2) Those who wants to Justify the fact that they didn't have any drugs by making you look bad..Some people True enough doesn't have much pain..cause I guess there pelvis is Huge and the baby is small..but most of us ENDURE Lots of PAIN and there is nothing wrong with an epidural or stadol or whatever other drug is offered during the pangs of labor.


and there is a small percentage who missed the "window of opportunity" for such drugs and when later on they hear others getting to use pain medication I guess they get jealous and rub it in there face that, "I had it Natural with no drugs!"
Like thats what you wanted because it wasn't.
My Sister-in-law did this too me. ESSH!
Well I didn't have any my kids via birth canal..I had a C-section for failure to progress but I did get a Epidural when I got to 4 CM dialated I think it was with my first son.
and The twins I had to get a C-section because they were afraid of my cervix ripping open from the previous C-section..yes its true that most of the time, they always try for a VBAC (vaginal birth after C-section) but because I was now carrying twins that was out of the question.


OPINIONS?

I wish....

Hey David, I wish you would leave me a comment or something from time to time ...;0
I wish more people would leave comments. I dunno what about..just tell me what you want to see on my blog, what you don't want to see or whatever....

finally finished

I think I'm finally finished for now with my blog layout. I think this one is pretty cool and I did a little tweaking here and there to make it more cool. ;0 like the links how they flip. I love that.

School Starts in 8 days!

Its so hard to believe in just 8 more days my oldest will be going to all day kindergarden! I have to buy a BUNCH of supplies! eick. I hope this Ms. Benton he is going to have is a nice teacher cause he needs a teacher who is going to be able to spend a little time working with him. I was lucky last year he had a WONDERFUL teacher.

House a mess!

Gosh it seems like only a day ago and I had this house looking so clean you could eat off the floor but thanks to the kids, its a natural disaster area once again. hmm, I wonder if I could get some funding for it! *lol*

I'm so tired of cleaning and it does absolutley no good whatsoever, cause you turn your back for one second to do something and its torn all up. I think my children was suppose to be tornado's or something!

YAY!!!

Alright I think I figured out the Haloscan comments thing..I think its working now ;)

TGIF

GOSH I'm So glad its the WEEKEND!!! I'm really starting to get burned-out in my dead-end job! i'm going to go get a job in the hospital, at least I will have my foot in the door as far as becoming a nurse of some sort. Its a positve step forward that I really really need now.
I haven't really slept in weeks! and the only thing running through my mind is figuring out ways to make some extra money. Thought about getting a second job but who would watch my lovely (sarcasm) children for me? Right now, I feel like I could handle working 24/7!! I dunno why..I feel so in control of my life like never before!
My production is going up at work and I TALK wayyyy too much but I feel like I HAVE to get out what I want to say, its nerve-racking having somethin' on my mind but can't talk...I Can't do it! ITs impossible!!!

Big Fight

Me and my mom got into a big fight yesterday, apaarantly i guess I was suppose to buy her an ice cream last night but I didn't know cause she didn't tell me..I Only bought the kids a sundae cuz thats all I had the money for and she gave me the silent treatment, and I asked her what was wrong..she said, you didn't even buy me an ice cream!
she is such a big baby with Bipolar disorder!!! EESHH..me and her clash like water and vinger sometimes but for the most part we get along except when her medicine doesn't seem to be working or she doesn't take it!!



Okay I think thats about it for now! ;)

Look for more great(sarcasm) posts by me as I have nothing better to do this weekend!

Until I find out

Okay Guys sorry about the absence of the comments section..I don't know what happened I tried both the "new" blogger comments thingy and HaloScan and I still can't get it to work..so now i'm at the mercy of those who goes to the Haloscan forums to help me with my problem, if someone will.
So Until I get it fixed you will have to use my Tagboard! its a on the right side.

so u can leave me a message there or, if you prefer my email addy is:

alwayz_blu@yahoo.com

new layout

HOw do you like this layout! I think I'll keep it for awhile!!;)

Presidential Stuff

Incase you didn't already know, The democratic party is now blogging! There you will find all the low-down on all the events to get Kerry/Edwards into office!!!!

 
Speaking of Which, Who are you guys voting for? Kerry or Bush??

I'm voting for John Kerry....cause I like his Vice prez. choice Edwards..he is from North Carolina which is right above me and I think he would be good for US here in the South!!

Tired of this

I'm so tired of this blog layout. I just changed it not all that long ago but I wish I was able to create my own er something...I just wouldn't know how to do that.
Whenever I get my mind together and bills caught up and what not, i'm going to buy me a domain cuz I think i'm almost ready for my own.

these are a few of there favorite words.....

I think Dakota's Favorite Saying is, "Its not Fair, CRANKY BUTT!" *lol* I dunno where he gets his sayings from.
and "I'm Hungry!" I must hear that from him at least 100,000 times a day!

Austin's Favorite word is, "BEPE" This means Peanut butter sandwich..I don't get it either but at least I understand what he is talking about.

oh and the next favorite of Austin's is, "MILK" he calls every drink he drinks milk, even juice and water! *lol* my mom thinks he is addicted to the White Cow Juice

Tre's Favorite word is "OOOHHH!" I think he thinks everyone is getting in trouble all the time! *lol* he is such a trip!

and he calls on himself, "Tre-Tre" he'll actually say, ooohhhh Tre-tre ohhhh like he caught himself doing something wrong!

 

WOW! I found my old Online Diary and read the last post I had on it and it nearly made me cry..a Very true post and I really needed to hear it again...here it is....

2001-09-15 14:39:16
A Day of Saddness for me and my lil family...
Dear Diary,
I'm leaving my husband tommorrow and I don't know what
life holds from me from this point on.I don't know When
I'll be able to add to this diary again. I don't know What
kind of impact it will have both on my Son dakota and my
unborn child i'm carrying in my womb.
I've been very depressed lately and i thought leaving
would solve my problems but it just seems its getting
worse. TO top it off, all those terrible things that
happened tuesday has left me dis-illusioned as to how final
death is.
I'd never really took the time to think about it all
those times i tried to kill myself. But now i realize that
dying won't solve the people around mes problems but in
fact make it that much harder for them cause they love me...
I'm unsure as to what to do now. I feel sorta lost in
all this mess.
I miss my friend Stefanie back home we always had a
wondeful time and she could always bring up the happiness
in me that was always burried deep inside underneath the
eyes of my distant and often cold hearted self and out of
the Saddness that has always surrounded me since i was a
little girl. She brought out the Goodness and the happiness
in me that noone else could but now, she is nolonger in my
life for reasons i rather not even care to mention right
now.
So with that, I leave everyone reading this with a
question..
Whats the point of living if you are unhappy with life and
the way your cards have been dealt? Do you give up and wait
for the next hand, or do you grin bear it and hope for the
best outcome knowing you will undoubtly lose??

 
 
....The Tuesday events I'm referring too in the diary entry is 9/11.

 
 

No Title...:(

Well I'm not even sure as to what to write about today, but i figured it has been awhile so I better think of something quickly!!
I'm just glad today was Friday and No going to Work until Monday morning!! YAY!
Thinking about going in at 6 am (one hour early) so I can make up some time I'm losing by taking off to take Tre to the doctors. You know I noticed something, A lot of people I know doesn't put there kids names in their blogs? Is there a reason for this? Should I do this too? someone give me a good reason. ;0
But then again, I guess it would be too late, now wouldn't it! *lol*
okay i'm tired.
I guess I should Hit the Hay, I'm sure the babies will be up bright an early!

 

Opps Forgot your URL!

I visited someone's blog a few days ago and I posted a comment saying I would like to add you to my blog roll..U emailed me back saying sure, The name was stacy however I forgot your URL! If you see this please send it to me as I have no way of remembering how I even found your site!

and ALSO,
IF anyone out there would like me to VISIT your site and possibly add a link to it, then please feel free to leave me a comment on here and I'll visit your site..;)
and see (like there is a BIG requirement test or something, there isn't, I just have to like it..*lol*)

Pizza.....Yummy

I don't really know what to say today, the swelling in my foot went down some, lets just see how it does tomorrow at work! That's the question!!
Yes I have to return to the old grind tomorrow. Not sure how I'm going to work the darvcet into my schedule tomorrow, I guess I'll have to wait until I get off of work to take it but then by the time night comes and I'm asleep I might wake up in pain! Maybe I should take it about an hour before I get off seeing it takes that long to take any effect anyways..I dunno..I don't know the regulations on taking Controlled Drugs at work places. I don't' drive any forklift or nothing but I do climb ladders! Anyone has any insight!? hmm..I guess I'll figure it out later.

I went to a Pizza Inn for lunch today and I had of course had the buffet and started the meal off with a healthy salad. The tomatoes was Nasty. It tasted like it had turned. Almost alcoholic tasting. YUCK! We told the waiter but it looked like he did nothing about it cause later I saw the woman take the old tomatoes out, placed it with the new tomatoes and then put the old tomatoes on top of the new ones in the new stainless steel dish thingy.
So We were getting ready to leave and my father told the manager about it. He checked it out and he said you know your right! Thanks for telling me!
that's it, all he gets is a Thank you!...How many customers would have tried the tomatoes, and then got disgusted with it, walked out, and never came back!? The pizza was great as usual, the spaghetti sauce was a little spicy which isn't a good idea seeing that small children eats that a lot of times. So my visit to Pizza Inn was average.

I Showed the doctor a Thing or two

HAHA..

Okay First to understand why I was at the Drs First I got to tell you why....

um K...

It all Started Yesterday, Yesterday When I got off of work, working my 10 hour day! I went to take a shower (because I'm a clean freak like that *LOL*) took off my socks and noticed my foot was swollen not only was it swollen but there was red splotches all over it..Not only that when I touched it I felt burning. I proceeded to take a shower without a hitch, I then decided to shave the prickly hairs off my gorgeous, muscular legs. I applied the shave gel..No problem go to shave OUCH!!! It burned bad very bad..
So I didn't shave..Went to bed figured it would be better in the Morning..It wasn't, it was actually worse and more swollen but I had to go to work so I went into work early to work a 9 hour day. It slowly got worse and worse, getting more swollen, more red and spreading!! Everyone was like...."Girl, you better go to the Doctors TODAY!" I was like Okay I will..
When I got home today and settled down to call my doctor it was 6 p.m. so I called anyway to speak to the nurse on call.
To make a long story short she told me to go to the E.R.
So I did.
They weren't making a big deal of it..But it hurt so bad I couldn't even concentrate on the Magazine I was reading because of the pain. So the doctor came in and he said it looks like just Petikie(P'e-tee-key-i)(sp?) I was like Yeah but Petikie doesn't have a burning sensation and it doesn't spread with nothing restraining it like this.He looked at me STUNNED..saying, "HOW DO YOU KNOW ABOUT PETIKIE?" i said I went to medical school for 2 years!..then he said, what do you know about it? I said well when you leave a tourniqute on a patient for too long while giving an injection it comes up but there is no pain associated with it and when you release the tourniqute it goes away and doesn't spread..HAHA..I showed his BUTT!!
Didn't I stacey? *LOL* was that good, or was that good????

 

 

*reminder* I'm a bad speller plus they have me on darvacet at the moment so i'm a little loopy!  If I misspelled something then plz feel free to correct me if it bothers you. :)  hey even the word speller looks wrong.

Shallow people Suck

Okay,  I don't know why I decided to talk about Shallow Guys since I try to surround myself with Unshallow people. But yeah,  shallow guys and GALS just suck. They are close-minded to different things usually. They tend to think Inside the box while Unshallow people tends to think Outside the box. I'm not Shallow..For I surround myself with all kinds of people. I think they are all beautiful in different ways, I don't think outer beauty is really an issue with me. I tend to look at the heart and soul of somebody before I make a judgment call. I'm not a Gorgeous Stunning Beauty by any outer appearance issues but They say its what's on the inside that matters, I am a very open, honest, fun-loving, caring person and those statements doesn't come from me but it comes from others close people to me. Outer beauty fades away anyway, so why put your faith and treasures in what someone looks like on the outside. Meanwhile on the inside they are really ugly and crumbling down to be a total Witch or Hag. What's important is what the inside looks like...Will this person see you thru thick and thin? Through those situations where you need someone to stand up for you?..Will the person love you unconditionally no matter what YOUR appearance is or what your belief is or What your opinion is?I find it kind of funny when people who claim to be your friend ditches you because you don't share the same opinions about a certain situation on things. I think the one thing that makes friendships interesting and unique is when you disagree on something and to love another point of view..Why would anyone want to surround themselves around people who believe exactly like them? What would be the point in being around those type of people, I mean you already have your beliefs..Life would be pretty boring to only surround yourself around people who are just like you. God made us all different and all beautiful in different ways and Its a shame more people doesn't see the beauty in that.

In the Local News....

This is so very sad. I don't know what to say other than I feel so bad for this young woman. I think she has been punished enough and if you could just see her face and her sympothy for what she accidently did, you all would agree too. Its sad, but to me it shows how Doctors can be so dumb not to give the baby proper treatment and pain medications for the baby. Here is the story so you understand what I'm talking about..
 







Mother charged in drug death of 5-month-old Woman accused of giving boy methadone could face up to 10 years if convicted
BY STEVE REEVES Of The Post and Courier Staff
 
A West Ashley woman is facing a felony charge after she allegedly caused the death of her 5-month-old son by giving him methadone, a powerful narcotic used to treat drug addiction.
Jamie Danielle Hayes, a recovering heroine addict who has a methadone prescription, sat quietly in a courtroom Wednesday afternoon as she waited for her bond hearing to start. The 27-year-old woman sat quietly, alternately staring at the floor and sobbing into her hands.
Hayes later nodded nervously as Magistrate Linda Lombard asked if she understood the charges against her. Lombard set Hayes' bail at $75,000 on one charge of unlawful conduct toward a child.
Hayes' son, Matangi Carlos, died at St. Francis Hospital on April 7. Hayes had brought him to the hospital after he stopped breathing. Hayes told doctors, and later investigators for the Charleston Police Department, that she had rubbed a small amount of liquid methadone on her son's gums because he was having teething pains.
But authorities said an autopsy and toxicology testing cast doubt on Hayes' story.
"The amount of methadone in the child's system was far greater than the amount would have been had she simply been rubbing it on his gums," said Sgt. Michael Gordon, a detective with the Charleston Police Department.
The autopsy found that the methadone level in Matangi's body was "toxic and lethal."
Gordon said police met with the solicitor, the coroner and other officials before deciding to charge Hayes with unlawful conduct toward a child, a felony that carries a maximum penalty of 10 years in prison, instead of charging her with a more serious crime.
"Based on all of the available information, that was the charge the solicitor thought was appropriate," Gordon said.
Methadone is a narcotic most commonly associated with heroine addiction. Federally regulated and strictly controlled, methadone is often prescribed to drug addicts to help wean them off heroine or prescription narcotics. Methadone was developed in the 1940s as a synthetic version of morphine and is also used as a pain killer.
Ed Johnson, the administrator of the Charleston Center's opiate treatment program, said methadone is a powerful drug that when used properly is effective for its intended purpose. But misused, he said, the drug can be dangerous.
"It's like any prescription drug," Johnson said. "It's serious. Methadone is pretty strong."
Hayes' brother said his sister has been free of heroine for approximately three years and is close to being taken off methadone. Trey Hayes said his sister's child had been sick with pneumonia and, despite several visits to the doctor, he was not getting better. He said his sister used a small amount of methadone as a last ditch effort to ease her son's discomfort.
"He was crying and crying, and she didn't know what to do," Trey Hayes said. "She didn't mean for her baby to die."
The baby's father is a commercial fisherman in Florida and could not be reached for comment. Trey Hayes said his sister was trying to straighten her life out and was preparing to move to Florida to be with her son's father when the death happened.
"When people think of methadone, they think of drugs and liars, but my sister is a really good person," Trey Hayes said. "She didn't mean for this to happen."

Its a GIRL!!

YAY! We just found out my Bestfriend (that I had since I was like 2) is having a Girl in October!! YAY!!!
I hope she is born on my birthday, that would be so awesome!!
I'm so happy for her, now I have a little girl I can spoil.
I'm always seeing Cute baby girl clothes and always wish I had a little girl to buy them for (seeing as I have 3 bratty boys!) now I do have someone I can buy for!! YAY! That makes me so happy! ;)
Just glad she didn't get the curse of twins that also runs in her family!!
 
Not that TWINS are a CURSE...it only is when you can't handle them too well...like me..haha..I don't know why I ever decided to have kids...why did I get married too? I guess I was a fool in love.
HA. Love is so OVERRATED!
 

Sickness in the A.M.

Okay this is weird...Every Morning I wake up feeling Sick to my stomach and headaches and just feel WASTED..but by 11 am I'm fine...its weird. Sometimes i even throw up..but by 11 A.M. i'm fine.....

A friend told me its probably just because I'm not a Morning person....hmm It could be. Since On the weekends its not as bad b/c i'm not up moving around as early as I am when I have to go to work.
I just feel so Icky in the Mornings.
Anyone Else suffer from Morning Sickness, Not related to Pregnancy?
Cause thats what it feels like Morning Sickness..but Of course i'm not PG..i had my tubes tied for one..and secondly, umm there has been no action in that department for some time now..*lol* that was TMFI wasn't it?? *LOL* I Just needed to prove I'm not PREGNANT to yall and thats the best way to prove it.

Toddler Troubles

ARRRGGHHH!!! I'm so ANGRY....My toddlers has destroyed about 15 dollars in Baby Wipes in less than a WEEK!
I put them to bed, and they get out (thanks to no crib for Austin) and Pull out all the wipes!! GRR..I put them in the closet on the top shelf where they can't get them and somehow they managed to find another tub, I didn't know i had My Mom buys me wipes and sometimes forgets to tell me (of course i pay her back)
I'm actually upset at her for leaving it where the babies can get to it.
I wish they would go to sleep for their nap! They drive me CRAZY!! Gosh, I'm so glad I can't have anymore b/c these 3 is really too much for me as is!

The Results are in!

Well I see that the Results on the Monster Truck Jam! If you want to see the Results of the show than you need to Click here!
It was pretty exciting! My son loved it and can't stop talking about it!!

Monster Truck Summer JAM

I took my oldest son to the Monster Truck show Tonight, It was cool..never been to one before, but my son loved it so thats always good, it was his Special Treat for the week...Last week I took him to Chuck E. Cheese
But I doubt I will be able to afford to take him anywhere next week, maybe to McDonalds or something like that..or maybe a trip to the dollar theatre here in town.
but nothing as expensive as what i spent tonight!

Oh well at least he had fun..


AND some FOOL was knocking on my door just now, its 12:38 AM..I didn't even look to see who it was b/c they would be able to see the shadow thru the peep hole and then i would have to answer it which i wasn't willing to do.
Then they went and banged on my window and my sliding glass door, hard...so hard I heard the neighbors come out and say something to whoever it was, but I still didn't hear the voice well enough....
I'm just wondering if MAYBE it was my cousin that was in jail, I heard he was out now, but i'm not sure.
But it could be my sorta Ex Jeremy...which i really don't have anything to do with anymore.... he just comes by, tells me how great his life is and leaves..hahaha..
I have better things to do than to listen to a guy who use to USE me....never take me out in public nowhere..like he is ashamed of me or something..
So I LOOOOOONG stopped dating him.
I don't have time for Players....

Writing a STORY, Maybe?

I'm Thinking about writing a True Story that happened to me as a Teenager that may turn out to be interesting....
It may shed some light on me that probably wouldn't be a good idea, but HEY its me it was how I was as a teenager..
I'm very creative and love to write even though I have poor Grammar Skills..
I blame my 9th grade teachers...
Let me tell you why i blame them..
Well There is usually an agenda set out like we do lit. one semester and Grammar the next..WELL, not to long before the first semester was up, My teacher got fired for having SEX with a student...so another teacher filled her place and this teacher never went over any Grammar..
and in 10th grade, I guess my brain wasn't all there..*lol*
but yet I love to write and I write poetry all the time.
I learned how to write poetry in 12th grade....

Big Brother First Episode of the Season!!

Well Big Brother had its first episode of the season last night.and it was Interesting to say the least.

Early in the game they played for food, grabbing yellow balls (with food on it) on a huge DNA strand that rotates, they had a short time to grab what they can and make it to the other side. One girl (smart looking brunette) Got Lobester Tails...Little did she knows what surprise had landed on her so early in the game, She was told to open the ball up and inside was a key, she unlocked the box beside the bowl with all the yellow balls they won, when she did there was 10,000 bucks staring back at her, She was then told she could take the money but that would mean PB&J for her and the rest of the cast for the week, no luxury foods and she could keep the money or let the money go for food but then they would each take turns either taking the money or taking the food, if anyone takes the money its PB&J for the rest of the week, WILL yells out, I'd Take the money! So she did, now everyone else is mad at her because they are stuck with PB&J, morning noon and night.
Also,.It looks like its going to be a good season this time around with something they like to call Project DNA (do not assume) but it has something to do with DNA. 2 of the people on Big Brother is half brother/half sister but does not realize it until Jennifer (aka some weird name) started talking about her father. THan Michael (a dorky Texan/Oklahomian) realized she was describing his father whom he never met. However, the show ends before the secret is reveled to Jennifer. He is unsure when and if he wants to tell her.
Its going to be interesting to see if he keeps his alliance with the "BUFF guys" to boot out Jennifer. They don't like her because she is different..with blue hair, tatoo's and piercings.
But personally, I like her look (minus the tatoo's) at least its more unique then all the ditzy blondes on big brother this season.
Only Time will tell how this season plays out!
Tune to watch this Thursday for more Big Brother Excitement!!!

From Cribs to beds

Taking my kids from the Crib to a toddler bed is harder than it was for my oldest!! URGH! Why won't they go to sleep already!!!
Its like 10:30, they use to go to sleep in their cribs at 7 pm..I'm not use to this..I had to put a baby gate up at their door so they won't come out of their room every 3 seconds! but they are standing their screaming and crying. They won't go to sleep!!! ARRHHHHGGHHHH!!!!
I so wish i didn't throw their cribs away, i could set them back up and put them in it..Sure one of my twins 'can' climb out of it but they didn't do that that often and eventually they fell asleep usually around 7:30 or 8ish or so but no, this isn't seem to be working..but I know its WAY overdue for them to be in toddler beds already, they are 2 1/2 years old afterall.
I wish God, would grant me some Peace at night, So I can go back to enjoying my quite nights watching Tv, playing on the computer, or taking a nice relaxing bath.
I hope they pass out soon, i'm getting sleepy myself.

A Sick 4th of July

No I didn't forget today was the 4th of July.
How could I? I'm suppose to go to my sister's for a BBQ and Swimming in the pool but the Twins are sick and I don't want to take them around my bestfriend who is Pregnant, i wouldn't want her getting sick.and I know she will be there b/c she is my brother-in-laws little Sister :)
My oldest son is probably going with my parents but I'll be stuck here in the house, probably on the internet..so if you all get bored and have nothing to do like myself..hit me up for a chat.
Thats inbetween Changing freq. Poppy Diapers and tending to their Whinning needs
Ha.
BTW, I'm going to get my home phone number changed soon..so if you want to call me at my old number better do it now...I'm changing it so certain ppl in my family won't have it anymore and bother me. Or try to use me as a Credit reference for their Rent to own purchases.

Unless I can find a Poor soul who would watch the twins for me, so i can enjoy myself for a change before i have to go back to work Tuesday....

But I doubt that....Unless a miracle happens and my kids stop being so sick acting!
But again, I highly doubt that!

If I wanted Drama I would Watch Soaps!

So I gave someone some Relationship Advice on myspace who I thought was a Friend and wouldn't go and stab me in the back?

WHat happened? Well after some time, after I thought I showed this person the REAL person they were dating how she was acting all mad at him having FRIENDS and then not expecting him to act the same way at her friends who wasn't just friends btw, but she made it known to him that She was "SEEING" others...
Apparantly, they talked some time later and decieded I was to blame for all of the mess...NO..She was..I just helped him see that She was using him and Pushing him over anytime she wanted too for her own Sick Purposes! What did I do wrong?
The only Crime I'm guilty of is Caring for a FRIEND. So from now on if any of my friends is having Relationship difficulties, please don't include me when you are upset and want to talk about it..Unfortunetly i guess I have to be that way to EVERYONE to make sure things don't backfire and I'm made to look like the bad guy.
ANYONE who has known me for any length of time knows i'm a loving and caring person who will have your back at any situation. But people Abuse the fact that I care.
And I just don't want anymore Drama in my life! I have enough to deal with, with a dead beat dad for a father to my children....I don't need more Drama than that.

I AM NOT AFRAID ANYMORE

Twila Paris
» I Am Not Afraid Anymore

Verse 1:
I said I belonged to You
But in a secret room, I kept a secret list
I said, "Anything for You"
"Anything but this" "Anything but this"
You knew it all along
You knew it very well
You knew the sturdy walls I hid behind
Were nothing but a prison cell
Chorus:
I am not afraid anymore
You have opened all the windows
Opened all the doors
I am not afraid anymore
I feel the wind of freedom like I never did before
The light is filling up the corners
Dancing on the floor
I am not afraid anymore
Verse 2:
You have always been the same
I ran away from You
I ran away from You
Every time You called my name
I tried to hide the truth
I tried to hide the truth
You knew it all along
You knew it verry well
You knwe the more I covered up my heart
The more I didn't know myself
Chorus
Bridge:
No room for rear
No room, no room
No room for fear
Perfect love is living here
Chorus

BORED

I really like this new layout. Blogspot has really come around and improved in a lot of areas.

Today I'm bored. and i'm hungry and i wish i would of taken my son to chuckie cheese's tonight like i was going to cause i could really use some hot wings right about now..YUMMM

Oh well maybe tomorrow..

Stopped going to the Mormon church after only a month back in and why

well I will tell you..

It all started when I was 10 years old and the Missonaries were coming over to give me lessons to be baptized....No where did it state that they believed in Plurality of gods,nor that we could be exalted to godhood..No where did they tell me that...

Well Even as a TEENAGER i did not know of a such thing....
Until I started getting a desire to go back to church...I thought it was kinda odd but nonetheless i started going back...and found the TRUTH of "my" choose religion...

I couldn't believe something that tottally goes agaisnt the KJV Bible. and I started reading other literature...such as that on www.beyondmormonism.com and was very shocked to learn what goes on in the temple...
and thats not the first time i heard of it..my cousin who was once a missionary told me things similar as well and I was flabergasted at what was told to me..at first i didn't know what to do, but now I konw what must be done..i must cut all ties with the Church itself...not the members persy b/c some of them are the nicest people I know...maybe just a little unaware at what they are trying to pull over them.
I'm not Downing any religion not even The LDS faith I just personally can't be a part of that particular organization anymore..

Well you say, if this is true why did the Holy Ghost lead you back in Church? Well i will tell you why, because in the back of my mind, I was always believing in the church to a point even when i was on the verge of baptism in other churchs but i never could make that step because i still believed LDS beliefs..well i had to go back to learn that it wasn't true...and now i can safely move on with my life....hopefully in the right direction this time.

God Bless EVERYONE!